goodbye 2009

so as many of my friends know, i am incredible sentimental and fond of memories. this year held probably just as many great, epic, life-changing events as most other years. but that doesnt make 2009 any less important. so.. here is the year that is, and soon will be that was.

the year begun with hard work with the new experiences, new people and a new environment that was virgin music (inside myer, eastland). my summer job was fun, scary and it got me my SLR :) scooping ice cream and making milkshakes was great also. especially that one indian family who came in and ordered "hokey pokey ice cream" and made me laugh like crazy. imagine "hokey pokey ice cream" said in an indian accent and you'll understand why.

mum and i went to see wicked the musical. boy was that awesome :) it was really the beginning of learning more about musical theatre and coming to love it with the rest of my music class.

chinese new year was a great time of catching up with family friends. especially my pastors' kids friends.

school started and i LOOOOOVVVEEEDDD VCE so much haha. my favourite subject at school was VCD and music. the most fufilling (of course after it was over) was year 12 methods.

there was my birthday, and i had two big parties, with many friends i hadnt seen in a long time like reuben and tim. it was great to catch up with everyone again! we also went to the city for jason's birthday and had japanese at meshiya. that was fun!

this year had a kinda party drought. but who could forget julia's geeks & nerds party? best party theme ever :) it was so much fun!

never wouldve thought id go to woolaning this year. it was such an amazing experience. i will forever love those on that trip! and the places we visited. swimming and teaching and playing music and playing cards and getting sunburnt and eating grain waves and cookie dough and strange tasting twiggy sticks. i learnt SO much and God was so real on that trip. i'll never forget it..

this year was the ending of the ms yan clan. we miss you ms yan :'( we had so many great moments together!

our year eleven 'camp' was sooo pathetic this year. but it was still fun-ish. we had a great time. thank goodness for our optimistic year level!

we visited tasmania this year. it was such a great rest. it's always great to see friends who are practically family again.

formal was great. i still think year 10 formal was fun-ner, but it was still fun. who wouldnt find getting all dressed up and pretty and taking pictures and drinking tea all night not fun?

we visited sydney & canberra this year too. i realised the reason i loved cities (in sydney, not canberra). i was SICK the whole time.. possibly with swine flu (as i later found out like half my music class had swine flu and we had spent the whole previous week together rehearsing like crazy!) we visited three differernt chocolate cafes and ate SOOO much food! it was a great family time!

Rachael DEFOE visited melbourne! it was so great to see her again. i really missed her a lot! and i still do :'( it was so great to reminisce with her again!

music camp this year was great cos WE GOT TO STAY ONE NIGHT! we watched high school musical all night long and jumped on the trampoline and jammed and played until our backs and our fingers and our necks were sore.

keisha & serenity visited australia! it was so great to spend time with my little cousins who i barely got to know cos we moved to melb while they were still in new zealand!

labour day weekend spent with the lings at phillip island was a fun time of catching up with my gracie again. we took many many pictures and even saw koala bears!

this year has changed our friendship groups so much! (sounds so high school-y) classes and study blocks have shaped them a lot. i'm glad i got to make so many new friends like jarrad, sally, julia, brett and even at youth and church with tommy and lucien. i also met a whole bunch of pastor's kids' and youth at different churches like ICC. i grew closer to some of my old friends and grew further from some too. i guess that's just how life goes isnt it? i wouldnt have had it any other way..

this year i have grown much more in my music than any other year. i've practiced harder and more last minute (nobody tell my piano teacher) than any other year. i've enjoyed my music SOO much more this year.. thanks to my music performance class! we had so much fun doing ensembles and performing to our family and friends. who could forget our dinners at hungry jacks and red rooster to calm our nerves and wreck our vocal chords (to the singers). yeah. good times, good times.."no day but today".. "nice white kids who like to lead the way, and once a month we have our NEGRO DAY!"

saying goodbye to our year twelves wasn't easy :'( we will miss you guys. but it was a great day and so much fun to do our fundraiser! i think next year will be a great year with our nice, clean common room and our fundraising money already with a plus.

we haven't had many of our 'girls only' sleepovers very often anymore. but this year held an epic one at liv's. we ate and ate from our array of desserts and sweets and watched jane austen movies. then we got blacklisted for sleepovers at liv's haha. we felt SOOO sick, but it was such a great night of bonding and dnms and gossip and laughter.

this year a very important event took place.. METHODS ENDED let's all jump around and scream with joy!!!!!!!!!! it was a great class. we will forever love you mrs law. it was a tough year, but a fufilling one. and all the work was worth it, and all i have to say is "i laugh at you all who have to do it next year.. =P" when it ended, we had a blast at chirnside.. eating and being happy (even though year eleven exams were the week after). nathaniel won so much chocolate from the vending machine. and i still have my toy fish from that day. (thanks nat!)

this year has been great through and through. it has held many unexpected moments. i guess that's what life's about right? i will miss year eleven, and the year twelves this year and the memories and the study block and everything i've had this year, but 2010 is geared up to already top 2009 above and beyond.

Merry (Almost) Christmas

Good evening great world wide web =)

it seems i have not blogged in quite a while and i probably should again. Mainly because facebook's photo upload function is currently not working on my computer and i'm beginning to get utterly frustrated. i've tried everything! so then i exercised my last option.. giving up !

A lot has transpired since the last time i blogged. Mainly things such as exams, presentation evening, rehearsals for presentation evening, a trip to Tasmania and getting my VCAA results for the first time.

For the moment though, i'm incredibly excited about these holidays. For those who have recently talked to me, they'll find this a surprise. yes, i complained about how i didnt get a summer job and how everybody is away blah -di-blah. i'm over it all. When we were in Tasmania, i read a lot of magazines. i mean A LOT. mostly 'belle' - an architecture, interior design magazine, 'frankie' - an art, culture, design & music magazine and lots of lifestyle ones too. so, i am currently inspired by design and crafty type things. i see these holidays as a time to develop my crafty skills. i have made some cards already and made elysia's christmas present (a smiggle pencilcase which i decorated). I am really looking forward to catching up with some friends i haven't kept much in contact with throughout this year like Amy. It'll be a great chance for me to as most of my closer friends are away (lucky people..bring me back presents :))

I am looking forward to spending some quality time with my piano (and violin) too. It's going to be a HUGE year in music and i better be prepared! There's Grade 8 piano, and hopefully Grade 6/7 Violin (or at least be up to that standard) and VCE Piano Solo Music Performance. It's so exciting !

I am nervous and excited about year twelve all at the same time. nervous because it's year twelve and from my experiences this year.. it's hard to score! Also, most of my subjects are arty subjects and there are so many people who are SO good at art! So i better work extra hard! Excited because we have the best year level after, the common room, tea and my subjects are great :)

I am sure going to also enjoy catching up on all my series. Glee, Gossip Girl, Gilmore Girls (wow so many G's) One Tree Hill, How I Met Your Mother and Big Bang Theory (especially since James comes back from Malaysia in the next week and can bring me up to speed with Big Bang!!!). Yeah, it's going to be quite a summer holiday.

So, catch you all up soon with how my summer actually goes.

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year! I'm sure God will continue to bless you all in the New Year and over this Christmas season. Embrace the love and joy going around!

undo

"to label me a prodigal would be only scratching the surface of who i've been known to be.
turn me around,
pick me up,
undo what i've become.
bring me back,
to the place
of forgiveness and grace.
i need you, need your help
i can't do this myself,
you're the only one,
who can undo what i've become." - undo, rush of fools

i always thought i could handle it, that i'd be strong enough, that when it came to it, i could say "no". i always though i'd never need to deal with it, i always thought i could turn my back, i thought i'd never even need to decide ever.

they tell us we need to say "no", we need to stand strong and wait, but they never said that it'd be this hard.

apart from all this thinking, the dilema still abounds - VCD or music next year?

and, exams are fast approaching. i want it to end, want it to go away!

hot and cold

two weeks ago, i was frying in 37 degree weather. now, i'm freezing. it's been a while since i've written. i missed you blog. just a tad.

where to start?
there was formal in august, then woolaning in september - the trip which changed my life. truly. it was amazing. then, now we're in october. exams are fast approaching and everything is happening at once.

these days, everyone is stressed. including my family. it's the time of the year when people start to give up - when it seems most crucial. second day back at school, and i received some bad news, music and VCD clash next year as subjects -.- they were my preference 1 and 2! so, it's one by distance ed or drop one. which is gay, cos both are my absolute utter favourite subjects. music has the best class and i've worked so hard to get here and VCD is what i need for a future in design! maybe God doesnt want me in design. its such a hard decision.

one hard decision after another..
God challenged me to put HIM first. above studies. that is SO hard, and i didn't even realise how hard it would be. but honestly, i always feel like praying and i'm excited to pray or to read my bible now which i havent been in a long long time.

living for God means dying to ourselves and living wholly for Him, it's such a simple concept, but boy is it hard.

and my discovery of today - my amuzement if you will - that music can elicit emotions within you. the fact that as we were analysing a piece in music for it's texture, we felt scared because the music was one that sounded like the soundtrack of a horor movie. then, music makes us laugh sometimes. i'm not sure if un-musical people see these details. but, i love my music performance class for allowing me to discover these little but profound things in life - such as this: that music can change your mood, it can make you feel something, or react a certain way, that in music, you don't need words - just the right notes, that silence is just as important as sound, and that without music ; i would be a very depressed little soul.

so all in all, life seems a blur lately, like i'm rushing through it all the time.
it's frustrating, stressful, fufilling, exciting, detailed, crazy...
but, in all things, no matter what happens, if i fail, the world will still spin and Jesus will still be Lord. i take comfort in that.

just for you

"And here I go,

Letting go

Just another,

let you go

I never thought I could be like this

I wanna spend every moment here with you

You've shown me a place I've seen but never knew

So here I am Here I am

Here I am

Here I am

Just for you" - William Tell, Just For You

"never forget me, cos if i thought you would, i'd never let you go.." - Winnie the pooh.

i miss you.

ben sherman

aren't these kids the cutest thing in the world?

i ♥ ben sherman shirts.

i feel inadequte beyond words

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.


-Marianne Williamson

let's go fungi, let's go!

wow three years has passed.

and just like that, the years blow by us as if it were just a passing gust of wind.

The Yellow Leaf - Isaac Ho

Summer's fading,
A chilling wind starts to blow.
As leaves start to fall,
So do friends come and go.

Trees grow proud,
As they boast crowns of gold.
But when that last leaf falls,
The trees shiver in cold.

You're like that last leaf,
So bright and full of cheer,
As time goes on,
We'll all miss you dear.

A youthful cheer's lost,
We all heave a sigh.
But we'll always remember,
The time you said "Goodbye".

now here we are, all those years later,

i miss you all.

top designs

now i know. this is what i want to do for the rest of my life... create things, imagine things, colour things, draw things, MAC things.

designers are such weird people with strange ideas yet i want to be one of them.

"No one ever creates anything original" said the industrial designer who lectured us yesterday at Melbourne museum. it's true, everything that is being done has been done before. 

the works were incredible, with each individual folio representing hours and hours of work, tears, and mini triumphs. the type no one knows about except they themselves. my favourite was the girl who designed undies and the guy who designed pegs.. seriously awesome marketing and designs.

the rest of the day didnt really turn out as planned. shopping with the girls got a bit boring after a while so everyone left early with me at the city for an extra 45 minutes waiting to catch the same train as my mum. so, i found a vintage shop.. (btw, who gets the authority to call something 'vintage' and not just 'secondhand'? because the stuff in there should be worth a 1/10 of the price!) and then i went to fed square and listened to a bit of jazz (as its the melbourne international jazz festival atm.) it was quite nice.

today was open day at school, it was great! i always love open days.

unexpectedly eventful week

this week wasnt meant to be this way, but now that it has turned out so, i must blog. so many things have and are happening this week in terms of events that i am so dead tired, but then it feels as if not much has changed. anyway, here's a quick update/summary.

1. the territory

my school is taking two missions trips open to year 11s (next year's year 12s). one in january to cambodia and one in september to the northern territory. i cannot afford the one to cambodia no matter how much i would LOVE to (mainly cos it costs $3,500), so i may be going to the NT in september as that trip is only $750. however, i promised my parents i'd go halves. so, if over the holidays there is work available - even just babysitting/cleaning houses, i'm ready for action =D - oh and if anyone wants to donate, that is welcome too !

2. pivot

the pivot competition entry closes tomorrow. my piece is done (i have to admit not my favourite or the best of my work, but jarrad convinced me i 'might as well' since the school is paying for everything) and handed in. so, it's in, we'll see how it all pans out! opening night is on the 14th of May at "Red Earth Gallery, Mooroolbark Community Centre", please come and check it out!

3. aths day

me and kathryn ran (and walked) the 1500 meters in rain and hail and we were sooo wet by the end of it. but, it was fun and a great experience and we spent most of the freezing tuesday under sally's 'curry scarf' (named so as it smelt of curry). 

4. steamboat algae

yes we had steamboat at youth cell - i know you're all jealous XD

it was great, a great discussion and study, and great company. i think God has really put a great group together this year for each of us to grow. jarrad and dora came along and that was all good fun. 

5. tea o' clock live

yes jarrad and i (and dora) had tea o' clock for the first time in real life (not over MSN), and it was fabulous! mum even gave us strawberries :)

6. VCD excursion

tomorrow is the VCD excursion at melbourne museum to see the Top Designs exhibition and hear pro designers lecture. i'm really excited especially as i really want to get into the design field when i'm older. we get dismissed at 1 o' clock from the museum so we may head into the CBD for some hardcore city shopping (GLUE has 70% off apparently) or just catch a movie.

7. open day

is on saturday, so school music life is very busy ATM. in fact i've had so many rehearsals this week its not even funny.

8. studies

yes it seems i doing well in everything but METHODS. lets not go there.

9. visitors

we've had visitors for 3 weeks straight (3 different sets) and all i want is my room, my bed, my desk, my routine!

i think that's it for now.

we got a new computer and so all my files are being loaded on. i hope i dnt lose anything and i hope that everything is set just the way i like it ASAP!

sarts in melb

me & adri are going to chapel st to strut in our coolest & weirdest clothes with my DSLR so the sartorialist will notice us and snap us and blog us ^^

http://thesartorialist.blogspot.com/

have a great week everyone!

shopping

well today i went to DFO essendon with mum, elysia & aunty lyn and aunty lyn bought me a $30 dress marked down from $170. it is so pretty.

but ive found now everytime i shop theres a battle, on the one hand, i want almost everything i see, and on the other hand i know i shouldn't want these things cos i dnt need them. and i picture the faces of those little kids in cambodia, of those little girls with the umbrellas, of nong gai & nong koy & jordan & ai zhang & lei khung.

and i'm torn.. between that new dress and those suffering faces.

iHate

methods.
being stressed about methods while trying to study other things.
no study periods.
injections.
pain.
blood.
methods.
SACs.
exams.
methods.
no credit.
methods.
getting stuck on MSN/facebook when hw is awaiting.
methods.
procrastinating.
people who complain about how much work they have.
people who complain about how little time they have.
people who complain about how they do "so much".
methods.
methods.
methods.
methods.

-.-

tea o' clock

jarrad and i have tea o' clock at the exact time we both feel like a cup of tea. this is normally at the exact same time which is kinda scary. we renamed this time tea o' clock. it's normally between 9-9.30 PM depending on what time we woke up and what time we had dinner.

last night he had tea o' clock without me because i was in bed by 9PM. i slept so early because i woke up at 5AM that morning to send my cousins off to the airport. serenity & keisha were a joy to have. i felt more like their mum than cousin! they were pure sunshine and i miss them already.

so, holidays have ended. in fact, theres about 6 hours, 11 minutes left of holidays. i'm going to savour every moment and laugh at you all who are trying to cram in holiday hw last minute. you really shouldnt have procrastinated.

have a great first week everybody!

Love is Hard

jarrad and i were talking about how everything good comes to an end; like school holidays or meals or friendships.

(pi) says (7:38 PM):
nah, not so stupid.
i think thats what everone wants.
but it never really happens.
the only so called 'forever'. the term i use loosly here, i meant to be the husband/wife
however that remains to be seen these days

danica says (7:39 PM):
yes which is sad
i had this conversation with isaac too..
hes like, "friends forever.. do you believe in that?"
"mmm.. not really, people change too often and i move too much"

danica says (7:40 PM):
i probably sounded cynical but its true

(pi) says (7:40 PM):
hmm it is.
most good things come to an end

then i was listening to James Morrison's album 'Songs for You, Truths for Me' because i just downloaded it and i absolutely love James Morrison's voice. His song 'Love is Hard' is one which stuck out to me, so i looked up the lyrics..

They're treading lightly
No they, don't sink in
There's no tracks to follow
they don't care where they going
hmm

And if they're lucky and they'll,
they'll get to see and if they're
really really lucky they'll
get to feel..

And it kicks so hard,
it breaks your bones.
Cuts so deep
it hits your soul.
Tears your skin and
makes your blood flow.
It's better that you know,
That love is hard.

Love takes hostages,
gives them pain.
gives someone the power to
hurt you again and again
oooh, but they don't care

And if they're lucky and they'll,
they'll get to see and if they're
really really lucky they'll
they'll get to feel.
And if they're, they're truly blessed
and they're get to believe
and if you're dammed, you'll never
let yourself be diseased.

love is hard, love is hard.

If it was easy,
it wouldn't mean nothing though.

and yes, it actually is quite depressing, but i think its true.

pivot

this is driving me insane.
i can't get the right shot.
i am yet to look at a photograph i've taken and think 'that's it. that's the one'.

i wish i could get it right
i wish i could be better.
why are my photos soooooooo bad?
and why are my photoshopping skills so primitive?

i am frustrated.

but i think it's a good frustration,
because it's one that will drive me to be better,
to get better,
to enter this competition with the perfect shot(s)
and win more than just prize money..

.. i'll win the knowledge that i've grown as an artist, and the hope that i've still got a long way to go.

but until then, the frustration continues.
it keeps me up at night..

.. the girl with the umbrella.
SHADE 4 30C

comment me on facebook in regard to what you think.
i am reshooting and reshooting so theyre upcoming too.

http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=101105&id=752157455&l=0d111b7085

saturday night

it was an awesome night made even awesomer by the reunion of old friends that night. it was so good to see you all again.

its amazing how much has changed since then. since those days of grace and my fake-bubblyness, since those days of pink fashionising, since those days of singing the veronicas and thinking we were 'tres hot'. since those long four years ago which have slipped by ever so quickly.

thankyou for the friendships, memories and love since then. i constantly miss you fungus youth everyday, yet am thankful i am where i am because i know i'm living in his sovereign plan.

and now i'm sixteen.. hopefully wiser and smarter in some way or another :|

and i got my L's. =) =)

pictures on facebook of the party everybody.
much love.

best friends

i was checking out one of my primary school friend's myspace page and i realised how many friendships i've gone through the past sixteen years.

so, as a bit of a tribute to those who've made an OUTSTANDING contribution to my life the past sixteen years.. here are my best friends.

my cousin david yeoh - best friend: newborn to eight years old

• when we were three/six; we thought that you died when you were ten years old cos we couldnt count past that.
• when we were four/seven; i wanted to marry him.. but aparantly you can't marry your cousin lol
• when we were six/nine; we experienced our first 'all-nighter' with our cousins hau yang & yu yang and then went to sunway lagoon the next day absolutely dead tired
• when we were six/nine; we played this game with our cousins aaron & donny where the aim was to get to the front door from my grandma's room without any adult seeing us. we had awesome codes like, "the coast is clear" and "back to base camp"

he taught me football (soccer) and music and many many things. we still hang out when i visit malaysia.

amy hiew - best friend: four to eight years old

• when we were five/eight; we used to have many sleepovers
• we used to always go swimming, and have lunch after church

she was my big sister, we still hang out and go for tong shui whenever i visit.

natasha thiagarajah - best friend: seven to ten years old

• when we were seven/six; we used to go to the park opposite her's to play on the playground
• we ordered maccas at midnight (cos malaysia has free delivery) last year

church wouldnt be the same without her - sticker photos and old fashion mail.

sarah goh - best friend; ten to twelve years old

• when we were eleven/twelve; we'd sing usher confessions part 2 and welcome to my life by simple plan at the top of our lungs with li ming
  
• when we were eleven/twelve; we went to phillip island and took so many catalogues from the surf shop they probably thought we were stealing something
• when we were ten/eleven; we made a slide from her top bunk to her bottom at the old doncaster house opposite the RSL
• when we were eleven/twelve; we went to the snow/camping together. we went skiing and body boarding like mad

cell group was sarah and liming and singing very very loud. summer was always at wye river and winter near falls creek.

evelyn perry - best friend; nine to twelve years old

• when we were eleven; we'd stay in and play cards with the girls. we said, "when we're all old and in year nine we'll probably think.. how nerdy are we? but oh well!"
• when we were eleven; we made a movie with all our friends for a school assignment. it involved a jack hammer, an egyptian tomb, and painting hieroglyphics on the prep storeroom wall
• when we were eleven; we named a tree heath and fed it with our rubbish with the rest of our friends
• when we were ten; jason want was the coolest

mecs would've been so sad without you! i loved primary school cos of you!

grace ling - best friend twelve to now

• when we were twelve/thirteen; we thought that we were the asian veronicas
• when we were thirteen/fourteen; we wore pajamas to shaun's party
• when we were twelve/thirteen; we went around saying, "honey do you love me? baby if you love me smile =)"
• when we were fourteen/fifteen; we had moping nights with weis tubs, dove chocolate truffle, pringles and watermelon while watching soppy chick flicks
  
• when we were thirteen/fourteen; we mc-ed rally night, and us and joanne would go around saying, "whatever your mother works in mcdonalds with minimum wages"
• when we were fifteen/sixteen; we stayed overnight at a hotel and ate trampoline all night long
• when we were fourteen/fifteen; we had breaky at ikea all the time
• when we were fourteen/fifteen; our favourite movie was hating alison ashley "why do we have to be ugly? i mean HELLO!" and napoleon dynamite "do the chickes have large talons?"
• theres many more..
  

my life wouldnt be the same without you.

isaac ho, jerusha ho & adrienne kher - best friends fourteen to now

• last year; we went to proud peacock after watching hancock at the movies and laughed until we cried and our stomachs hurt and we were about to throw up! (cos isaac is SOO lame)
• last year; we had a F.R.I.E.N.D.S marathon with jan and ann.. isaac cooked 7 packets of mee goreng between me, ann & him (me and ann only ate one packet)
• last year; adri and i went crazy with my new SLR around knox
• when me and adri were in grade 4/5, we played polly pockets at her house
  
• when me and isaac were in grade 4/8 or 9, we broke into the trampoline area of a campsite cos the asians stole the keys!

you guys are simply the best. my lameness clan =) will love you all till the very end.

dora tan - best friends thirteen till now

• when we were in year eight; we dressed up and went to knox to watch stick it
• when we were in year nine; we made awesome tim tam iced chocolates
• when we were in year ten; we went opp shop shopping in rosebud at camp
• when we were in year ten; i watched some of my first horror movies with you. :| WHY?

school would be so boring and aussified without you =)

so yesterday we went to a 21st and her best friend made a speech and they'd been best friends for forever. a forever i'll never know because i never keep best friends for all that long. i hope some day someone can stand up and talk about me like she did about her best friend. they'd spent so many good times together and gone through so many phases. maybe some day i'll stop moving and have a forever best friend.

tired and uninspired

not that i still am..
but the song is called, 'tired and uninspired' by my american heart for those who wanted to know.

i'm actually feeling quite the opposite. my birthday brings much excitement this year as i get to meet up with many of my friends whom i havent met in a while.

the baby is turning sixteen. after waiting for so long, and watching the rest of you turn sixteen, then slowly eighteen and then i lose track of your ages.

see you all very soon. =)

untitled

theres only nine minutes to write, so i'll dot point the important stuff and expand later (or i'll forget).

• for the first time since i was seven years old, i actually told someone about Jesus and explained the whole concept of forgiveness and redemption to someone who's never really ever known anything about him before. it's so reassuring to know that the God i believe in is an INCREDIBLE God.
• tired and unispired is a song on my iTunes playlist, i can't remember by who, i'll find out. but, that describes music for me now. it's kinda getting stale and i hate that.
• methods test on friday AGAIN, no cheat sheet & calculator free. why do they tell us so last minute? i'd better pass the way i'm studying.
• friends are not meant to be categorised. we all go through seasons, and i'm glad i've experienced the things i have with all my friends. to the current ones and the ones past and the ones to come.
  

'Through it all, I made my mistakes
I stumble and fall, but I mean these words
I want you to know
With everything I won't let this go, these words are my heart and soul' - With Me, Sum 41

• my birthday is in 5 days =D

that was six minutes.
i have to go!

inspiration, or lack thereof

the piano and violin stare at me and make me feel the most guilt i've ever felt. you know why? because i don't touch them. and why don't i touch them? well, that is a bit more complicated. anyone who plays an instrument i think would understand that everytime you start a new piece, you eventually reach your 'peak', where all the notes seem to fit so well under your fingers and you seem to be so in tune with the music you play. then, one day, it starts going downhill. even though you've peaked, you HAVE to get it better, faster, take it to another level. but you can't. and it seems my technique and pieces are all past their peak at the moment, and that scares me, and frustrates me.. like hell.

and then there's the awesome feeling i get when capture a photograph with my camera, and i look back at it and think, "that's the one".. it's the greatest feeling in the world.

or the feeling you get when you get a test back and you did way better than you think you did. the sheer joy! and then all the work was worth it.

why must music frustrate me so much?

the activation of the sympathetic nervous system

i think i'm doing too much psych study..

i've had this lump on my right side of my neck, and its been hurting for like a week, so finally i go to the doctor's to get it checked out. she says, "your lymph note is swollen, it's either a virus or glandula fever.." i'm think PLEASE NOT GLANDULA FEVER!!!

and so she makes me go get a blood test and i almost cry before it from fear, but it doesnt even hurt! it hurts less than an injection! and then i get the results back and it's just a virus, thank God! If it had been glandula fever, i would've had to cut down on school hours and other commitments because one of the main symptoms of it is chronic fatigue, and that would've been terrible!

so, it's all ok =D and then my parasympathetic nervous system kicks in.. woo!

why i love you so

well, for a split second i thought, "maybe i should write a poem to my little lovely SLR", but no cos thats so sad.

this is the main reason i'm writing;
so last sunday, our youth had a barbeque/pool party at the arul's. it was really fun! so me, hillary and colin didnt go swimming so we were just sitting there talking, and colin was telling us about his freestyling and how much he loves it and how into it he is and how passionate he was about it, and about the cause. then, i met tommy (who if you go to donny secondary would know who he is.. year eleven asian guy who is really not asian and into fish) who was telling me all about his fish. no joking, ive never met someone who is so into something so unsual like fish (especially at our age right? like only old people who like to go fishing talk about fish) but anyway, he was telling me about them. and so, i thought, "wow these people are so passionate about these things they love.." and got inspired to really get ahead in my photography.

so, my mummy said, "why don't you enter some photography competitions?" and i think this is a great idea, but i couldn't find many online. but i decided, no, i will have a goal, 'one incredible photograph everyday for seven days'. and so the goal was set.

so if you want to see how i'm going (i'm on day five), check out this facebook link =)
http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=89870&id=752157455&l=b9d13

1. the lamb
2. slack
3. rainbow
4. model
5. love, dream, laugh

enjoy.
and please hold me accountable for my goal.

a new chapter

so as i put 2008 officially behind me with going to school today, i feel like i need to write, as if blogging and everything else that makes it feel like a new year comes with starting school. it is already almost feb, but this year feels like it's just begun.

so school today was a killer, with temperatures reaching above 43 degrees. the teachers all thought it was funny that they were running 'wet weather' timetable when it was really 'hot weather' timetable. it was blazer free and tie & top button free all day.

i enjoyed my day, though it only was really 3 periods instead of the normal 7. it was chinese, english & methods, and i got homework (which wasnt hard stuff).

i feel like i have to report my holidays too. my explanation for it comes in two words - work & photographs. yes, work & holiday homework filled most of my days, while my new best friend - my Nikon SLR - hung out with me the rest. my mum thinks i took some good pictures that i should submit to some show or competition, but i still feel i have a LONG way to go. i am yet to master the white balance function as well as shooting manually on my digital SLR, but its all coming together, and i'm enjoying it thoroughly.

spiritually, i haven't been awesome, to be honest. i have practically ignored God and maybe even avoided him because of several different things that have happened. also, (i know this is NO excuse but still) i usually do something very spiritually stimulating and refreshing this time of year like usually i go to planetshakers or last year it was the missions trip. i guess i tend to get very tired and worn out spiritually by now usually, but this year i've had to go without and that's been hard. last night though, i knew i had to make it right. i was literally scared of praying because i knew God wouldn't be happy with me. but, as soon as i started to ask for forgiveness, God really gave me peace. it was so overwhelming. i am so happy to report that i spent a great day with Jesus today, doing the normal stuff i do.

i'll leave you with my favourite shots this summer.
you can check out more on facebook =)
enjoy starting school everybody!

at the observatory

i am so lazy, here is a note i wrote on facebook and on a myspace blog. happy new year guys, and BTW, its not actually THAT long, the font size is just big =D

happy new year!

goodbye 2008...

it started with a bang. after only spending 24 hours in melbourne in 2008, i jetted off to thailand, cambodia & laos for an experience that has changed my life forever. the mekong mission saw me reaching out to those kids you only see in world vision ads, giving away shoeboxes, feeding kids who will probably only eat a meal a day and reaching out to hug more kids than i can count! and who could forget those tales of me eating silkworms, crickets and red ants? it was truly an amazing experience!

my baby niece mikayla turned one month old! that was an ordeal which brought people to kuala lumpur from all over the world - the phillipines, australia and the far ends of malaysia. it was great to catch up with all her aunties & uncles again!

then school started. the best subject i would have to say would be photography. those days we spent inhaling chemicals in the darkroom will never be forgotten. the days of mr. lau and charnes no. 5.

methods and chinese was well.. you can't blame the teachers, they're just not subjects you would love to spend your friday afternoon doing, and yet there it was; alternating every friday were chinese & methods. thanks to the chapmans, amber & jason (and chris & KT in methods) for making the hours much more bearable. the memories of looking at the clock every 5 minutes with kathryn as we waited for those long 55 minute periods to end were excrutiating! couldn't have done it without you.

then fiddler rehearsals started. we weren't even in fiddler and we rehearsed as much as they did! but needless to say, through those saturday rehearsals, the strings bonded with the band, and with mr. hogg and it was an amazing show! and because of this, we made oxley history by putting together the first orchestra ever at the year seven show. that song would've made mr. tolkien very proud!

which leads me to the string camerata and sinfonia.. oh the .. frustrating moments we've shared this year! like that one entire rehearsal when we didn't even rehearse haha. ms yan - you are amazing.. we love you and we should so rename camerata to the ms yan clan.

the winter holidays were possibly one of the best holidays i've ever spent in melbourne. this was made possible by isaac, jerusha & adrienne. the best outing of 2008 will forever be that day we journeyed to the GLEN for hancock and then to proud peacock for their famous diced beef & red rice. those holidays also held the F.R.I.E.N.D.S marathon together with jan & ann at the twin's. eating 7 packets of mee goreng and watching singaporean movies was awesome!

as my violin exam drew closer, i got more and more anxious. me and grace practiced like crazy and it all paid off. as we both made our way to the city all by ourselves, and sat our exams, we both came out five points of distinctions.

the end-of-year exams were very stressful, none of us knew if we'd come out of our methods exam breathing. but we did, and now look what we've done to our holidays - one chapter of year 12 maths YAY!

the america trip in september with my family was one of the best holidays i've ever been on. and that fact may have a lot to do with the fact that we didn't fly jetstar, but that we actually got real service and in flight entertainment! i think i watched sex & the city four times, and the one episode of the big bang theory five times during one seventeen hour flight. disneyland was magical, universal was awesome and the family bonding time was greatly needed. after serveral exhausting flights to and from LA, we finally made it to KL yet again. it was great to catch up with family, to meet dave's girlfriend, to watch two movies, to go out for dinner with sarah, amy & melissa and to see my little baby mikayla all grown up! gosh i love travelling.

year ten chapel was awesome! our army theme was so much fun and the dance was a great success.. i didn't die flipping over gab's back! gracie did an amazing job and i'll always appreciate the great musical talent our year level has as we played at chapel.

chapel champions and lunchtime worship has been great this year. thanks to sal, jullia & jonny especially this year. i cannot wait to see what God is going to do through you guys; through us all at oxley in the years to come. it's all so exciting!

who could forget year ten art? it was a great subject. the 'do whatever you want as long as it's to do with another artist' project was so much fun. i learnt so much.

and the legendary potato party with amber, renata & sarah on the holidays. that was sickening. truly sickening, but delicious and fun!

boxing day shopping was another tradation which remains unbroken. i had so much fun gracie =D

year ten camp was the best camp ever. it felt like a giant holiday with the whole year level more than anything. i'll never forget the day sal, mia, turh, dora, susie & i bonded over opp shopping at rosebud, or the time we all held hands and jumped off rosebud pier together, or the time we snorkelled out to pope's eye together, or the time we drove down to sorrento with mr barton, ruth, wes, cam, jason & dora and ate chips & gelati, or the time half of the girls in our year level stood up and sang 'my heart will go on'. camp was great =D

formal was so much fun, i think the whole notion of getting dressed up and cam whoring for an entire night was more fun than the actual formal. dancing was hillarious, especially when everyone stopped dancing in the middle of the tango and broke into normal dance.

packing christmas shoeboxes was another fun day out especially 10.1 who weren't even my homegroup! the pure joy we all received from unpacking and packing those shoeboxes is indescribable.

going through the woship study was probably one of the most spiritual enriching things i've done this year. thanks ed for running that! i really learnt heaps about being a true worshipper in christ.

and how could i forget to mention that 2008 was truly a year of parties, especially sweet 16ths. it was a great year; from gab's 80's karaoke to steph's reality tv show; it was all awesome.

and then i started working this year. it started with teaching piano and then work experience at tonya hinde interiors and then getting a job at new zealand natural and leaving that for virgin music now.

also, i got the most amazing toy this year; actually, two. my gliga violin 1 purchased right after fiddler, and my Nikon D-40 SLR right after exams.

so goodbye to an amazing year, goodbye 2008.