tired and uninspired

not that i still am..
but the song is called, 'tired and uninspired' by my american heart for those who wanted to know.

i'm actually feeling quite the opposite. my birthday brings much excitement this year as i get to meet up with many of my friends whom i havent met in a while.

the baby is turning sixteen. after waiting for so long, and watching the rest of you turn sixteen, then slowly eighteen and then i lose track of your ages.

see you all very soon. =)

untitled

theres only nine minutes to write, so i'll dot point the important stuff and expand later (or i'll forget).

• for the first time since i was seven years old, i actually told someone about Jesus and explained the whole concept of forgiveness and redemption to someone who's never really ever known anything about him before. it's so reassuring to know that the God i believe in is an INCREDIBLE God.
• tired and unispired is a song on my iTunes playlist, i can't remember by who, i'll find out. but, that describes music for me now. it's kinda getting stale and i hate that.
• methods test on friday AGAIN, no cheat sheet & calculator free. why do they tell us so last minute? i'd better pass the way i'm studying.
• friends are not meant to be categorised. we all go through seasons, and i'm glad i've experienced the things i have with all my friends. to the current ones and the ones past and the ones to come.
  

'Through it all, I made my mistakes
I stumble and fall, but I mean these words
I want you to know
With everything I won't let this go, these words are my heart and soul' - With Me, Sum 41

• my birthday is in 5 days =D

that was six minutes.
i have to go!

inspiration, or lack thereof

the piano and violin stare at me and make me feel the most guilt i've ever felt. you know why? because i don't touch them. and why don't i touch them? well, that is a bit more complicated. anyone who plays an instrument i think would understand that everytime you start a new piece, you eventually reach your 'peak', where all the notes seem to fit so well under your fingers and you seem to be so in tune with the music you play. then, one day, it starts going downhill. even though you've peaked, you HAVE to get it better, faster, take it to another level. but you can't. and it seems my technique and pieces are all past their peak at the moment, and that scares me, and frustrates me.. like hell.

and then there's the awesome feeling i get when capture a photograph with my camera, and i look back at it and think, "that's the one".. it's the greatest feeling in the world.

or the feeling you get when you get a test back and you did way better than you think you did. the sheer joy! and then all the work was worth it.

why must music frustrate me so much?

the activation of the sympathetic nervous system

i think i'm doing too much psych study..

i've had this lump on my right side of my neck, and its been hurting for like a week, so finally i go to the doctor's to get it checked out. she says, "your lymph note is swollen, it's either a virus or glandula fever.." i'm think PLEASE NOT GLANDULA FEVER!!!

and so she makes me go get a blood test and i almost cry before it from fear, but it doesnt even hurt! it hurts less than an injection! and then i get the results back and it's just a virus, thank God! If it had been glandula fever, i would've had to cut down on school hours and other commitments because one of the main symptoms of it is chronic fatigue, and that would've been terrible!

so, it's all ok =D and then my parasympathetic nervous system kicks in.. woo!

why i love you so

well, for a split second i thought, "maybe i should write a poem to my little lovely SLR", but no cos thats so sad.

this is the main reason i'm writing;
so last sunday, our youth had a barbeque/pool party at the arul's. it was really fun! so me, hillary and colin didnt go swimming so we were just sitting there talking, and colin was telling us about his freestyling and how much he loves it and how into it he is and how passionate he was about it, and about the cause. then, i met tommy (who if you go to donny secondary would know who he is.. year eleven asian guy who is really not asian and into fish) who was telling me all about his fish. no joking, ive never met someone who is so into something so unsual like fish (especially at our age right? like only old people who like to go fishing talk about fish) but anyway, he was telling me about them. and so, i thought, "wow these people are so passionate about these things they love.." and got inspired to really get ahead in my photography.

so, my mummy said, "why don't you enter some photography competitions?" and i think this is a great idea, but i couldn't find many online. but i decided, no, i will have a goal, 'one incredible photograph everyday for seven days'. and so the goal was set.

so if you want to see how i'm going (i'm on day five), check out this facebook link =)
http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=89870&id=752157455&l=b9d13

1. the lamb
2. slack
3. rainbow
4. model
5. love, dream, laugh

enjoy.
and please hold me accountable for my goal.

a new chapter

so as i put 2008 officially behind me with going to school today, i feel like i need to write, as if blogging and everything else that makes it feel like a new year comes with starting school. it is already almost feb, but this year feels like it's just begun.

so school today was a killer, with temperatures reaching above 43 degrees. the teachers all thought it was funny that they were running 'wet weather' timetable when it was really 'hot weather' timetable. it was blazer free and tie & top button free all day.

i enjoyed my day, though it only was really 3 periods instead of the normal 7. it was chinese, english & methods, and i got homework (which wasnt hard stuff).

i feel like i have to report my holidays too. my explanation for it comes in two words - work & photographs. yes, work & holiday homework filled most of my days, while my new best friend - my Nikon SLR - hung out with me the rest. my mum thinks i took some good pictures that i should submit to some show or competition, but i still feel i have a LONG way to go. i am yet to master the white balance function as well as shooting manually on my digital SLR, but its all coming together, and i'm enjoying it thoroughly.

spiritually, i haven't been awesome, to be honest. i have practically ignored God and maybe even avoided him because of several different things that have happened. also, (i know this is NO excuse but still) i usually do something very spiritually stimulating and refreshing this time of year like usually i go to planetshakers or last year it was the missions trip. i guess i tend to get very tired and worn out spiritually by now usually, but this year i've had to go without and that's been hard. last night though, i knew i had to make it right. i was literally scared of praying because i knew God wouldn't be happy with me. but, as soon as i started to ask for forgiveness, God really gave me peace. it was so overwhelming. i am so happy to report that i spent a great day with Jesus today, doing the normal stuff i do.

i'll leave you with my favourite shots this summer.
you can check out more on facebook =)
enjoy starting school everybody!

at the observatory

i am so lazy, here is a note i wrote on facebook and on a myspace blog. happy new year guys, and BTW, its not actually THAT long, the font size is just big =D

happy new year!

goodbye 2008...

it started with a bang. after only spending 24 hours in melbourne in 2008, i jetted off to thailand, cambodia & laos for an experience that has changed my life forever. the mekong mission saw me reaching out to those kids you only see in world vision ads, giving away shoeboxes, feeding kids who will probably only eat a meal a day and reaching out to hug more kids than i can count! and who could forget those tales of me eating silkworms, crickets and red ants? it was truly an amazing experience!

my baby niece mikayla turned one month old! that was an ordeal which brought people to kuala lumpur from all over the world - the phillipines, australia and the far ends of malaysia. it was great to catch up with all her aunties & uncles again!

then school started. the best subject i would have to say would be photography. those days we spent inhaling chemicals in the darkroom will never be forgotten. the days of mr. lau and charnes no. 5.

methods and chinese was well.. you can't blame the teachers, they're just not subjects you would love to spend your friday afternoon doing, and yet there it was; alternating every friday were chinese & methods. thanks to the chapmans, amber & jason (and chris & KT in methods) for making the hours much more bearable. the memories of looking at the clock every 5 minutes with kathryn as we waited for those long 55 minute periods to end were excrutiating! couldn't have done it without you.

then fiddler rehearsals started. we weren't even in fiddler and we rehearsed as much as they did! but needless to say, through those saturday rehearsals, the strings bonded with the band, and with mr. hogg and it was an amazing show! and because of this, we made oxley history by putting together the first orchestra ever at the year seven show. that song would've made mr. tolkien very proud!

which leads me to the string camerata and sinfonia.. oh the .. frustrating moments we've shared this year! like that one entire rehearsal when we didn't even rehearse haha. ms yan - you are amazing.. we love you and we should so rename camerata to the ms yan clan.

the winter holidays were possibly one of the best holidays i've ever spent in melbourne. this was made possible by isaac, jerusha & adrienne. the best outing of 2008 will forever be that day we journeyed to the GLEN for hancock and then to proud peacock for their famous diced beef & red rice. those holidays also held the F.R.I.E.N.D.S marathon together with jan & ann at the twin's. eating 7 packets of mee goreng and watching singaporean movies was awesome!

as my violin exam drew closer, i got more and more anxious. me and grace practiced like crazy and it all paid off. as we both made our way to the city all by ourselves, and sat our exams, we both came out five points of distinctions.

the end-of-year exams were very stressful, none of us knew if we'd come out of our methods exam breathing. but we did, and now look what we've done to our holidays - one chapter of year 12 maths YAY!

the america trip in september with my family was one of the best holidays i've ever been on. and that fact may have a lot to do with the fact that we didn't fly jetstar, but that we actually got real service and in flight entertainment! i think i watched sex & the city four times, and the one episode of the big bang theory five times during one seventeen hour flight. disneyland was magical, universal was awesome and the family bonding time was greatly needed. after serveral exhausting flights to and from LA, we finally made it to KL yet again. it was great to catch up with family, to meet dave's girlfriend, to watch two movies, to go out for dinner with sarah, amy & melissa and to see my little baby mikayla all grown up! gosh i love travelling.

year ten chapel was awesome! our army theme was so much fun and the dance was a great success.. i didn't die flipping over gab's back! gracie did an amazing job and i'll always appreciate the great musical talent our year level has as we played at chapel.

chapel champions and lunchtime worship has been great this year. thanks to sal, jullia & jonny especially this year. i cannot wait to see what God is going to do through you guys; through us all at oxley in the years to come. it's all so exciting!

who could forget year ten art? it was a great subject. the 'do whatever you want as long as it's to do with another artist' project was so much fun. i learnt so much.

and the legendary potato party with amber, renata & sarah on the holidays. that was sickening. truly sickening, but delicious and fun!

boxing day shopping was another tradation which remains unbroken. i had so much fun gracie =D

year ten camp was the best camp ever. it felt like a giant holiday with the whole year level more than anything. i'll never forget the day sal, mia, turh, dora, susie & i bonded over opp shopping at rosebud, or the time we all held hands and jumped off rosebud pier together, or the time we snorkelled out to pope's eye together, or the time we drove down to sorrento with mr barton, ruth, wes, cam, jason & dora and ate chips & gelati, or the time half of the girls in our year level stood up and sang 'my heart will go on'. camp was great =D

formal was so much fun, i think the whole notion of getting dressed up and cam whoring for an entire night was more fun than the actual formal. dancing was hillarious, especially when everyone stopped dancing in the middle of the tango and broke into normal dance.

packing christmas shoeboxes was another fun day out especially 10.1 who weren't even my homegroup! the pure joy we all received from unpacking and packing those shoeboxes is indescribable.

going through the woship study was probably one of the most spiritual enriching things i've done this year. thanks ed for running that! i really learnt heaps about being a true worshipper in christ.

and how could i forget to mention that 2008 was truly a year of parties, especially sweet 16ths. it was a great year; from gab's 80's karaoke to steph's reality tv show; it was all awesome.

and then i started working this year. it started with teaching piano and then work experience at tonya hinde interiors and then getting a job at new zealand natural and leaving that for virgin music now.

also, i got the most amazing toy this year; actually, two. my gliga violin 1 purchased right after fiddler, and my Nikon D-40 SLR right after exams.

so goodbye to an amazing year, goodbye 2008.