waiting on the world to change

I heard them talking of their tomorrow -
beautiful people -
talking of life and love,
of war and death
and changing the world -
circles of conversation
like goldfish in a bowl
going nowhere -
I thought of yesterday
and didn't have the heart to tell them
we were the beautiful people then -
trying to change the world
and our circles of conversation
were like goldfish in a bowl
going nowhere . . . . .

from the Thoughts of Nanushka Volume I
by Nan Witcomb

better days

i've seen better days than these.

this week has dragged on so much it feels like three.
thank goodness it's over.
finally.
and now, let the tsunami of homework hit me.

just a quick little funfact:
God once spoke to me through a secular song - Jason Mraz's Details in the Fabric..
the verse that said:

"Hang on
Help is on the way
Stay strong
I'm doing everything"

spoke to me once when i was really struggling. i remembered that time today. maybe this'll speak to more of you. God is telling you to HANG ON! and he's there, even if sometimes it doesn't feel like it. Just be strong. He's there - behind the scenes.

Apart from that, there's more family drama from malaysia. that will make four trips in one year.

smile though your heart is breaking

ahh.. those carefree days where the sun shone brighter, the smiles on our faces were bigger and anything was possible. i wish i could retreat back to then.

Quirk

It's awesome how everyone has their little quirks. Everyone is unique and has something different to give to the world. I know this sounds to cliche, but seriously, everyone of my friends brings something different to my life.

I was reminded what i loved about my Best friend last night. One thing I had forgotten was her love to quote movies, just like me. I forgot where I got my love of quoting from. It's one of those things that started all those years ago after watching "Uptown Girls" and "Napoleon Dynamite" and our favourite person to quote? Winnie the Pooh.

I love that one of my best friends (who is a guy) is so arty and fashionable and loves shopping more than me. I love that he buys me the best presents ever cos he knows the kind of fashion sense/style I have. I love that sometimes we think he could be gay because of the way he dresses and the things he talks about (but of course he's not).

I love that one of my best friends acts like my big brother. I love how he is this really dignified, righteous, upstanding, cool kinda guy when you first meet him.. until you realise that he actually makes really lame jokes. I love the way he's kinda protective too.

I love that one of my best friends who is older than me is sometimes like my little sister. I love that we can talk about anything, and I love her love of all things vintage and retro. I love how we can completely relate on all things to do with our families because theyre kind of the same. I love the way she cleans her room a billion times over jus so she doesn't have to start her homework!

I love that one of my closest friends grew up in Chille. I love his weird accent.

It's all these things about all these people that I love. Of course, there are many more, but I can't list them all. seriously, my life would be a bore without you guys.

In short, quirkiness doesn't always equal arty-dressed, nerd glasses wearing people. Quirkiness is present in all of us, and I guess it's these little things that we find we miss about each other.

we were so busy with our games, we forgot about the white rabbit

Don't make me fall in love again,
don't let your hand touch mine,
don't make that old familiar thrill
start tingling in my spine -
Don't make the nights rush by again
and all the days seem long -
don't fill my earth and sky again -
let one of us be strong.
Don't make me talk about you,
just to say your name aloud
or let my eyes betray me
when I see you in a crowd -
Don't make me fall in love again,
please let my heart decide
that this is just another game,
a roller coaster ride -
but who knows where a love begins
or how a game might end -
and maybe somewhere in between
I'll fall in love again . . . .

by Nan Witcomb,
from "The Thoughts of Nanushka"
Volume I, "Yesterday, Today and Tomorrow"

when she loved me

what do you say to someone who has stopped being in your life for a whole year after being there for you for four?

wisdom please God?
wisdom would be nice.

i would really really like to not screw this up. thanks.

Love one Another

i am continually amazed at how some bloggers (such as my cousin aaron) have so much time to blog so often. furthermore, how they manage to have so many epiphanies in their day to write about. like seriously, my life is not that interesting! anyhow, shout out to his blog, check it out :)
here. i promise no good morals and endless hours of procrastination as you browse through his amusing and very malaysian blog.

i just got home from church camp. this is my first avenue of processing so far. aside from all the fun things i got to do, such as slide down the 110 metre long water slide, canoeing and take a ride on the 130metre long flying fox, as well as trampolining and hanging out with the coolest kids in town (literal children).. i really felt God pulling me back to him.

it's a huge challenge to christians everywhere on how to live as a christian and be noticed for it. this camp taught us that by loving each other, we ensure that we are viewed as Jesus' disciples. i know one of the greatest things God challenged me on was the power of encouragement. so many times i forget to encourage others. also, i need to begin to defend others and not tear them down. loving one another goes beyond feeling, it is a commitment on our part, and a command that God has called us to obey. i know God truly placed certain people on my heart that i need to pray for, to love more, to respect more, to treat with more patience and gentleness.. the list is endless. oh i am so flawed.

though i wasn't in the adult sessions (i was helping out with sunday school), i really saw - through devotions and general conversations - that God is my Father, and i am a child of God. i am not an orphan, i belong somewhere. i do not need to seek aproval in anybody or in anything. by learning who i am in christ Jesus, and by abiding in Him, i assure a confidence and a faith in him that goes beyond any shallow acceptance this world can offer me.

"Love one another and you will be happy. It's as simple and as difficult as that." - Michael Leuning

I know it can be hard to love some people, but through the grace of God, we can learn to see them through God's eyes. men, no matter how good or bad (and by the way, who are we to judge?), no matter how perfect or flawed are all made in God's image.

"So now i am giving you a new commandment: Love each other. Just as I have loved you, you should love each other. Your love for one another will prove to the world that you are my disciples." - John 13:34-35

so, i now have some praying to do.