i'm sorry.
i'm sorry i had to think,
i'm sorry i had to hurt you.
i'm sorry i was never there,
i'm sorry i so close to replacing you.
but i felt so sure you were gone,
i thought you didn't want me any more.
i love you, i always will.
Sunday, August 31, 2008
children.
i was watching four four-six year olds play basketball in their sunday school room yesterday. it was quite amusing. i am continually fascinated by the way little children communicate with each other and treat each other. their insults which no doubt cut each other deep like, "poohead" make me smile at their innocence and ignorance. ignorance is bliss. for some reason, as they grow, they grow less and less trusting and more and more cynical. i often wish we could be as carefree and simple as they are. they voice their opinions loud and clear without fear of hurting someone. they forgive each other after five minutes of hate, and play like best friends again.
i really do hope our society and the media do not corrupt or damage the kids too much. its so sad to see them grow up and lose that innocence. it's so sad when you see ten year old girls in groups of five each carrying pink supre bags and dressing like eighteen year olds.
=) =) =) =) =) =) =) =) =) =) =) =) =) =) =) =) =) =) =) =) =) =) =) =) =) =)
apart from that.. today was good, added to my junk fest weekend with m&ms today!
hope the rally went well for you all who were involved! sorry i couldnt be there.. please dont hurt me :D my mummy truly didnt let me go!
xoxo
Saturday, August 30, 2008
the junk fest
my diet today:
MACCAS BREAKIE
maccas hotcakes +
maccas hash brown +
maccas apple pie (which has gone down to $1 now!!) +
vanilla chai tea from mccafe (which is my favourite)
doritos at morning tea
and nandos for lunch =)
what a healthy day i've had. i feel like running and running to get skinny again, but i can't be bothered lol. i also finished the second book in the twilight series 'new moon' about 5 minutes ago. can't wait to start the 3rd next!
i'm also tired beyond belief, but homework awaits! will blog later.
xoxo
MACCAS BREAKIE
maccas hotcakes +
maccas hash brown +
maccas apple pie (which has gone down to $1 now!!) +
vanilla chai tea from mccafe (which is my favourite)
doritos at morning tea
and nandos for lunch =)
what a healthy day i've had. i feel like running and running to get skinny again, but i can't be bothered lol. i also finished the second book in the twilight series 'new moon' about 5 minutes ago. can't wait to start the 3rd next!
i'm also tired beyond belief, but homework awaits! will blog later.
xoxo
Wednesday, August 27, 2008
optimistic.
well, after an incredibly exhausting weekend, i have finally found the key to being optimistic - relying on God's strength. lots happened over the weekend, particularly on sunday night. it was crazy on msn that night! because of this, my monday was completely and utterly wrecked. i had the ultimatum of bad days. it was really bad. but, on monday night, i made adri promise me that we'd always keep each other in line and that this week, we'd learn to rely on God and him alone. not friends, or family, or each other, but only on God. after this, things started to change. i felt God's peace and yesterday was made so much more bearable, in fact, it was better than bearable, because it was a good day. despite having no bludge subjects, it was an ok day, i think the fact that we had art in last period contributed to that fact, because it was so stress-relieving.
today was a great day! it was bludge subjects all day - double art: where i started my distorted face drawing in charcoal (after nervously working in pencil for two lessons because i refused to use charcoal), double maths: where we had to get our last cancer injection which really really hurt, bible: where we did some exergesis on psalm 121 and double sport: which because most team seasons were done was bludge. but it was fun bludge. it was a free-study option too. so, me, dora, amber, jarrad and several others headed up to the art department (which is my new home in the school), and me and dora used the MACS to do some photoshopping and then i continued doing my charcoal drawing while listening to my iPod while talking to jarrad about how his dad stole raisins from safeway - lol. so my afternoon was thoroughly enjoyable and relaxing. theres nothing more relaxing than drawing and music together.
"the joy of the Lord is my strength".
i also uploaded some professional pictures of the formal up on facebook:
http://www.new.facebook.com/album.php?aid=54278&id=752157455
xoxo
today was a great day! it was bludge subjects all day - double art: where i started my distorted face drawing in charcoal (after nervously working in pencil for two lessons because i refused to use charcoal), double maths: where we had to get our last cancer injection which really really hurt, bible: where we did some exergesis on psalm 121 and double sport: which because most team seasons were done was bludge. but it was fun bludge. it was a free-study option too. so, me, dora, amber, jarrad and several others headed up to the art department (which is my new home in the school), and me and dora used the MACS to do some photoshopping and then i continued doing my charcoal drawing while listening to my iPod while talking to jarrad about how his dad stole raisins from safeway - lol. so my afternoon was thoroughly enjoyable and relaxing. theres nothing more relaxing than drawing and music together.
"the joy of the Lord is my strength".
i also uploaded some professional pictures of the formal up on facebook:
http://www.new.facebook.com/album.php?aid=54278&id=752157455
xoxo
Sunday, August 24, 2008
everything.
i currently have a LOT of thoughts floating around in my little head. so this'll be a bit random and all over the place.. i'll put sub-titles to make it easier =)
Mike Guglielmucci
by now, everyone probably knows about this. and if not.. click on this link: http://www.news.com.au/adelaidenow/story/0,22606,24212817-5006301,00.html
when my dad first told me, i was angry, then i was shocked, then i felt sorry for him. i really do wonder why anyone would make up cancer.. perhaps it's his hunger for fame gone a bit crazy, or maybe he was never really sane in the first place. who knows.. what i do know was that God is a God of forgiveness and second chances. i still dno what to really think of this, except to pray for him and his family. his poor wife didn't know about any of this either. but mainly, my concern goes towards the youth and people who gave their lives to christ or grew in christ through his testimony. what now do they have to be inspired by? it's really sad if people backslide because of this. i think we must really hope that people do not begin to condemn mike - we're all human and fallen.
Generation Y
Yesterday at church, Ps. Mark Sayers ran a half day seminar on Gen Y. this really was a reminder to me about the world and culture we have grown up and now live in. it really saddens me how materialistic and secular we all are. i am so sad at the lack of God in our culture. it really got me questioning how we could possibly change this or get people to consider following Jesus when there are so many other things in this world that seem so much more appealing. then, i remembered what God challenged me when Chris Hope came to speak. God challenged me that day that he was all-powerful and he can do anything, including save our generation. i guess i still doubt. it also saddens me to see how shallow many youth groups are these days. they're all so program based and the youth of our generation seem to just base their faith on hype - which will fade. i really do hope God raises up the genuine christians of our generation.
friends.
don't you hate when you lose them?
my dad preached on friendship at church this morning..
"and friends are friends forever if the Lord's the Lord of them.." - a song by Michael W. Smith and Amy Grant.
i guess i need to begin to cultivate the friendships which help me grow in God.
i also decided to paint yesterday - it was completely random.
to help you understand my mood.. i was listening to "the Last Goodbye" by James Morrison.
thats it for now =)
xoxo
Mike Guglielmucci
by now, everyone probably knows about this. and if not.. click on this link: http://www.news.com.au/adelaidenow/story/0,22606,24212817-5006301,00.html
when my dad first told me, i was angry, then i was shocked, then i felt sorry for him. i really do wonder why anyone would make up cancer.. perhaps it's his hunger for fame gone a bit crazy, or maybe he was never really sane in the first place. who knows.. what i do know was that God is a God of forgiveness and second chances. i still dno what to really think of this, except to pray for him and his family. his poor wife didn't know about any of this either. but mainly, my concern goes towards the youth and people who gave their lives to christ or grew in christ through his testimony. what now do they have to be inspired by? it's really sad if people backslide because of this. i think we must really hope that people do not begin to condemn mike - we're all human and fallen.
Generation Y
Yesterday at church, Ps. Mark Sayers ran a half day seminar on Gen Y. this really was a reminder to me about the world and culture we have grown up and now live in. it really saddens me how materialistic and secular we all are. i am so sad at the lack of God in our culture. it really got me questioning how we could possibly change this or get people to consider following Jesus when there are so many other things in this world that seem so much more appealing. then, i remembered what God challenged me when Chris Hope came to speak. God challenged me that day that he was all-powerful and he can do anything, including save our generation. i guess i still doubt. it also saddens me to see how shallow many youth groups are these days. they're all so program based and the youth of our generation seem to just base their faith on hype - which will fade. i really do hope God raises up the genuine christians of our generation.
friends.
don't you hate when you lose them?
my dad preached on friendship at church this morning..
"and friends are friends forever if the Lord's the Lord of them.." - a song by Michael W. Smith and Amy Grant.
i guess i need to begin to cultivate the friendships which help me grow in God.
i also decided to paint yesterday - it was completely random.
to help you understand my mood.. i was listening to "the Last Goodbye" by James Morrison.
thats it for now =)
xoxo
Saturday, August 23, 2008
year 10 formal
this week was like waiting for christmas as a kid - agonising, exciting and anxious. we all waited for year 10 formal to arrive with much anticipation, and no secrets about our outfits. as the clock slowly ticked in double methods yesterday afternoon, it felt like each minute was an hour as we waited for the clock to touch 12.40 so we could go home and start getting ready. so with as few possible words as i can, i shall attempt to describe our magical night last night.
we got ready (using so much dress tape we couldn't sit down).
we ate. we danced.
we took photographs.
we said our you-look-so-pretty's.
a picture says a thousand words, so i will leave you with just a few...
we got ready (using so much dress tape we couldn't sit down).
we ate. we danced.
we took photographs.
we said our you-look-so-pretty's.
a picture says a thousand words, so i will leave you with just a few...
xoxo
Monday, August 18, 2008
anyone else, but you.
somewhere in between blogging my last and now, i've come to realise that it's not about me. it's not about MY inadequacies or MY shortcomings. its not about MY failures or MY weaknesses. it's not about how perfect I can be or how good a christian I can be. it's not about me at all, and that's where i've gone wrong. it's all about him. he doesnt care about where i lack. he wants to fill that. he wants to be my strength, but i've been focusing so much on MYSELF that i've forgotten about him. it's not about what i can't do, it's about what he can using me.
and i am so grateful for 'God' who obviously spammed my blog with a million 'i-love-you's'. i love you too =)
on a completely different note, i watched juno with rachael defoe yesterday. i loved it. i actually thought it would be a really crude, ridiculous storylined, dodgy but funny type film, but it was actually incredibly decent. it was funny, and the characters were so real, and the ending was happy... everything i love about a movie. oh and of course, there was romance. apart from that, i loved spending that time with rachael defoe. we reminisced on old memories, as well as chatted about our lives now.. oh so much has changed! i'm really gonna miss her ='(
it was our church's 10th anniversary yesterday. about 120 people showed up - past and present. it was great to see familiar older faces as well as people i didn't know from a long way back in cornerstone's history. it was particularly great to see kelvin at church for once in like four years! the lunch was amazing - thanks to my mummy and the hall was sparkling clean - thanks to my awesome vacumning skills =)
i also loved encouraging an old friend on saturday night. though we never get the chance to converse very often these days, i'm very grateful for your friendship and i really cannot imagine my life without you. the good times of admiring converse chucks (back when we were too young and broke to own any ourselves), bagging jumpstart (with great passion!), and receiving that one valentines day card from you back in year 8. i'll never forget that conversation i tried to show you God exists, and i'll never forget the sheer joy i felt when i recieved that one text message from you yesterday morning. thanks for the encouragement, i know you wont believe me, but you acutally encouraged me more than i encouraged you. i'll be praying for you. hang on.
i started twilight on saturday. i gave in. i remember thinking, 'what a stupid storyline' but thinking, 'people must not all be crazy over it for no reason!' and so thanks to kim van tonder, i am now halfway through twilight.
formal is on this friday =) how exciting!
and the 40 hour famine starts in 4 minutes! i wonder if i can shove down some ice cream before 8PM o.0
apart from that, it kinda amazes me how my friendships at school seem to be absolutely falling apart, and yet i feel so carefree about it all. i'm actually really happy atm. i wonder why?!
lol. love you all =) xo
and i am so grateful for 'God' who obviously spammed my blog with a million 'i-love-you's'. i love you too =)
on a completely different note, i watched juno with rachael defoe yesterday. i loved it. i actually thought it would be a really crude, ridiculous storylined, dodgy but funny type film, but it was actually incredibly decent. it was funny, and the characters were so real, and the ending was happy... everything i love about a movie. oh and of course, there was romance. apart from that, i loved spending that time with rachael defoe. we reminisced on old memories, as well as chatted about our lives now.. oh so much has changed! i'm really gonna miss her ='(
it was our church's 10th anniversary yesterday. about 120 people showed up - past and present. it was great to see familiar older faces as well as people i didn't know from a long way back in cornerstone's history. it was particularly great to see kelvin at church for once in like four years! the lunch was amazing - thanks to my mummy and the hall was sparkling clean - thanks to my awesome vacumning skills =)
i also loved encouraging an old friend on saturday night. though we never get the chance to converse very often these days, i'm very grateful for your friendship and i really cannot imagine my life without you. the good times of admiring converse chucks (back when we were too young and broke to own any ourselves), bagging jumpstart (with great passion!), and receiving that one valentines day card from you back in year 8. i'll never forget that conversation i tried to show you God exists, and i'll never forget the sheer joy i felt when i recieved that one text message from you yesterday morning. thanks for the encouragement, i know you wont believe me, but you acutally encouraged me more than i encouraged you. i'll be praying for you. hang on.
i started twilight on saturday. i gave in. i remember thinking, 'what a stupid storyline' but thinking, 'people must not all be crazy over it for no reason!' and so thanks to kim van tonder, i am now halfway through twilight.
formal is on this friday =) how exciting!
and the 40 hour famine starts in 4 minutes! i wonder if i can shove down some ice cream before 8PM o.0
apart from that, it kinda amazes me how my friendships at school seem to be absolutely falling apart, and yet i feel so carefree about it all. i'm actually really happy atm. i wonder why?!
lol. love you all =) xo
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