Photo: Fitzroy Carpark by Zaldy
Ever wonder why you worry about such small things when you know there are much bigger things in life to worry about - like famine and poverty - but yet you can't seem to get over the small worry?
It's like you know that you're worrying about something so tiny and insignificant, and you know you shouldn't really be bothered with it at all, and yet after trying to convince yourself to stop worrying about it, you can't. you try and picture children starving, and you repeat over and over again in your head how unimportant and minute your problem/worry is but yet you still can't stop caring about it. you know it's definitely not the end of the world, but it still doesn't cease to feel like it. you are assured over and over again by people around you that 'it's not a big deal' but you know they'll never understand because you yourself don't understand why it's even such a big deal to you. you tell yourself to stop thinking about it, and yet your mind tends to wander and you end up thinking about it anyway.
you know it's not like this will change anything, but you have a feeling it will. all your insecurities that you thought you had dealt with come flooding back too fast. you suddenly wish you had someone who understood what you felt about all this, but you know nobody will ever understand why all of a sudden you were so insecure again.
you know this won't change your relationships with people and especially not with God, but there's something that tells you it will.
i wish i could say, i wish i could not care. WHY AM I EVEN WRITING THIS?!
No comments:
Post a Comment