i hate complainers

so i take the time to do all the work, while you are all relaxing away. i end up relaxing for some of the holidays instead of all, unlike you slackers, and now you come running to me complaining about your abundant amount of work, well, all i can say to that is you should've thought of that before you bludged through your holidays. stop complaining, stop procrastinating, stop bagging me for finishing my holiday homework early and start doing some of that homework! grrrr..

the end in sight

year twelve is going to kill me starting tomorrow. i've convinced myself i just need to take it one step at a time, i just need to get through a day at a time. i've tried to psych myself up for it and be positive, but it's really not working. like fourteen school weeks left... AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. (that was both a scream and a relaxing ahhh)

one of my favourite movies of all time

angus, thongs and perfect snogging.

just one of those movies which make me laugh and mushy inside and then leave me depressed that guys like these do not exist in real life, and this will probably never ever happen to me.

by the way, i think tumblr is overrated. unless you have tonnes of friends already using it, there really isn't that big a deal.

baa baa conformed sheep, have you any wool?

yes, i finally decided to conform to the rest of the world. i got a tumblr site. still playing around with it, yet to fall in love, but the community seems pretty arty farty, maybe i'll get inspired?

anyway, here it is!

http://danicayee.tumblr.com/

In a perfect world...

by the way, i am thinking of taking my blogger allegiance over to tumblr. it looks lots more fun. i'll probably update this blog still every now and again... we'll see if i have time.

we all had dreams

Charlotte, 2009.

did you ever dream you were a superhero?

If our God is for us, then who can ever stop us?

dusk

i just love when it's dusk and the light hits everything just perfectly. everything just seems to be brighter and clearer and glad that the day has finally ended.

jumping, flying, falling.

sometimes life throws at you giant leaps which you must conquer in order to move ahead. sometimes you just need to close your eyes and jump, and pray to God that he'll catch you when you fall, or to push you when you won't budge.

breathe deeply, eyes closed tightly, knees bent, and feet leave the ground. suspended mid-air. i hope my feet touch the ground again soon.

the modern family

i just finished watching the first three episodes of the new mockumentary "the modern family". i loved it, thought it was hillarious. but, the more i think about it, the more it saddens me. we live in a world that is so broken, that even something as pure and good as family can be broken and hurting and dysfunctional.

it just brings me to realise how much the world needs the love of an everlasting Father, one who'll never leave us or forsake us, one who'll never re-marry somebody else.

just a thought.

i'll be by your side forevermore.. that's what friends are for

isn't it just wonderful to have friends who you just click with? like even though you haven't seen them in AGES, once you see each other again its like no time has ever passed between you? isn't it great to know you'll always have people there thinking about you and praying for you?

last night was fun :)

thanks Ho twins for making me laugh and smile so much!

Adri, you should've been there! it was epic.

Lady Gaga

i used to think lady gaga was a terrible, tacky, straight to the top and then straight to the bottom popstar who didn't know a shred about music and who just sung things which her agents/producers/music directors tell her to. i thought she was only famous because of her bizzarre wardrobe and crazy video clips. or maybe it was the rumours about her being a haemophiliac which catapulted her straight to the top, but recently (very recently) i have come to recognize and respect her as a musician in her own right as i stumbled across some pretty amazing videos on youtube. lady gaga is not only an amazing singer, she is also an amazing pianist! she is such a fresh, new, bright creative mind. i guess she's a bit like picasso, who everybody thought was strange, and who nobody respected as an "artist". but thats just because he was more genius than anybody could understand. so, here is my evidence for all you hesitant or lady gaga haters.


Lady Gaga sings "Pokerface" acoustic



Lady Gaga sings "Paparazzi" acoustic

this week the trend

as christians, our job is to share Jesus' love, not to judge the world like the pharisees did, that's God's job. how do we remain connected to this world, yet don't step over to become too sinful and worldly and liberal? how do we remain in Jesus without becoming too distant and self-righteous and disconnected from this world? how do we bring the love of Christ into broken lives when we ourselves are clouded by our judgements of others? how do we break the stereotype of being a "conservative christian" into being one who can approach this world with godly principles? i cannot draw the line right now. i can't tell anymore if i'm becoming too much like the pharisees who Jesus used to get so frustrated with. Jesus himself hung out with prostitutes and sinners, how can i become more like him? how can i reach a lost generation when they feel like they have to be somebody else to be a christian?

too many questions, too little brain space to process it all.

blog post #2 for today.

please help this week end quickly and painlessly

my last blog post before this ridiculous week commences. you've gotta love year twelve and it's torture! my only hope is that i have prepared to the best of my abilities and that my best is good enough, please let it be good enough! there is a sense of sadness and relief that thursday is the day my vcd folio is due. it's been a huge task which has helped me grow, learn, cry, frustrated, angry, happy, excited the past six months. all i can say is that i have finally mastered the art of rendering metal and wood surfaces.. YES!

men are from mars, women are from venus

i desperately need a boy to enlighten me on how boys operate, because seriously, i can't figure them out, and i fear that i never will be able to. i'll spend the rest of my life on this earth finding boys a mystery.

true beauty

"the more we see the more we love you, God" - King of Wonders, CompassionArt

this week, i have been surrounded by God's beauty and creativity. God is the ultimate everything, but one thing i always forget is that he is the ultimate ideal of beauty, and it's not in looks, and it's not tangible, rather, it's seen through everything he creates and everything that he is.

When five creatives were interviewed by frankie magazine, megan washington, a musician answered the question "what does beauty mean?" with "wabi sabi... a Japanese aesthetic that focuses on transience and imperfection. Or incompleteness. Flaws are what make us beautiful". perhaps that's humans' way of justifying human beauty, but i believe that God is beautiful because of his perfection. why do humans always chase perfection? because perfection is beauty, because we live in a flawed world and we are inbuilt with a sense that the impossibility of perfection is beautiful.

i just look outside and stand in awe at the patterns, colours, textures, movement, engineering of everything he has created. he was the first one who created leopard and zebra prints, and i believe, the best at it.

and it's amazing how all of this creativity can be expressed. last weekend, i attended my school music camp, and i am continually inspired by the amazing people i interact with everyday, they are all so talented! last night, i attended the unit 3 drama ensemble evening for my friends, they did the most amazing job, and i just cannot stop thinking how much talent God has blessed my year level with, and the amazing potential that everybody has.

God is beautiful, and he has given us so many outlets to express this beauty - in art, in music, in drama, in dance... the list is endless, and so are the qualities that he holds. he is so perfect.

and so, as humans, it may be our flaws that make us unique, however, it is because we are made in God's image that we are beautiful.

the beginning of the end

the more time i spend with my year level, the more like family they seem and the more i know i'm going to miss them at the end of this year. i know that right now, all my mind can think of is the sac next week, and i rarely think beyond a week at a time in school time, but i just can't imagine what it's going to be like next year when i don't see these lovely people everyday.

it's so comfortable being at school now. you've got your niche. your little corner in the school yard (or common room in our case) where you sit. parties are always on friday or saturday nights and are fairly predictable. monday rolls around and everyone gossips about what happened during their weekends and what unfolded at the last party. when it's cold, we make a cup of tea, when we have double study in the morning, we make bacon & eggs & hash browns on the sandwich pressers. when it's lunchtime, we hurry to the common room to toast our sandwiches or heat up our food in the microwave. we sit next to our set subject buddies each subject, and even though there is no set seating arrangement, everyone seems to sit in the exact same spot every lesson. you become good friends with your favourite teachers and bitch about the ones you hate behind their backs. you push the rules the tiniest bit but not so much as to get in trouble. take our diary covers for example - not one of them is un-grafittied or un-edited. we get away with anything by saying "oh but we're in year 12..".

the topical issues never change, it's always complaining about how much work we have and how vcaa are trying to ruin our lives or getting excited about the next party coming up, or who is dating who in our year level, or people complaning about how a small group of people are trying to ruin our year by imposing their set ideas on all our major events this year. and somehow, that's all we manage to talk about. our worlds are so small.

on the holidays, we study a little, and chill a little. we catch up and watch movies together at eastland or chirnside, or if we're feeling adventurous, we go to knox or if we're feeling like superheros, we catch a train to the city. you can be on two sides of the study scale - the one end is getting your homework done at the start of the holidays and partying for the rest, or the other end is cramming your homework in a day before school begins. and suprise suprise, the day before school begins, everyone's facebook wall feed is jammed-packed with complaints of the load of the holiday homework and how hard it is.

we think we're so big and grown up cos some of us can drive to school and every wednesday, daniel hogg does fish & chip runs when we finish school at 12.

school is the most comfortable thing in the world, and year 12 work aside, we could do school with our eyes closed. but next year, this will all change. no more cosy classrooms or common rooms, no more familiar faces or subject buddies, no more imaginary assigned seating, no more high school gossip or oxley parties. next year, it will all change. no more eastern suburb kids who all live on the same trainline.

i will miss my year level more than anything else. i will miss my dear family who i've spent seven years of my life with. until then, i know i will continue to unconciously take them for granted...

stop stretching my heart, it's going to burst soon

Something always brings me back to you
It never takes too long
No matter what I say or do
I'll still feel you here 'til the moment I'm gone
You hold me without touch
You keep me without chains
I never wanted anything so much
Than to drown in your love and not feel your rain

Set me free, leave me be
I don't want to fall another moment into your gravity
Here I am and I stand so tall
Just the way I'm supposed to be
But you're on to me and all over me
Oh, you loved me 'cause I'm fragile
When I thought that I was strong
But you touch me for a little while
And all my fragile strength is gone

I live here on my knees
As I try to make you see
That you're everything I think I need
Here on the ground
But you're neither friend nor foe
Though I can't seem to let you go
The one thing that I still know is that
You're keeping me down

Keeping me down
You're on to me, on to me and all over
Something always brings me back to you
It never takes too long...

Gravity by Sara Bareilles, from the album "Little Voice"

visual communication and design unit 3

name the seat...
i am currently designing a seat for kids for unit 3 VCD. it is a hanging seat, which comes with a freestanding stand. it is similar to ikea's ekkore hanging seat. i don't have a picture for you as all my technical drawings are in illustrator files and my computer doesnt have illustrator as a program. so, the company is called "noah and belle interior furnishings" and is an up-market kids furniture company.

i'll give you a dollar if you find me a really cool name :)

freedom is here

sitting, waiting, wishing
right here within four walls
they're closing in on me
while my god he patiently calls
"climb out of there, you're dying,
i'm right here on the other side."
but everytime i try to move
i give up and say "i tried"
and slowly i'm choking to death
while my God desperately begs
"come to me, please baby,
to get you out, i'll drag"
I'm screaming and i'm kicking
while the devil whispers lies
"you'll never make it because
you're small and it's too high
just sit still, give up now,
you won't be strong enough"
but my God he is so gracious,
while the devil he just bluffs.
and all the while i'm frozen
too scared to make a choice
do i reach up for God or
just resign to the devil's voice?
i look up and stare at Jesus
his eyes so full of joy
as i raise my hand towards him
and put an end to all my toil.

written at 7.05 AM, 5th of May 2010,
in my journal.
a part of me no-one except God has ever seen before.

snail's pace is fast enough for me

busy busy busy busy.
sometimes life just decides to provide you with compulsory moments of rest and laughter. or else, we'd all go insane. this weekend was a compulsory rest weekend, according to my mother and according to the way life worked out. i only had time for homework today, and i stressed slightly all weekend about when i'd get my work done.

year twelve plays with your head that way.. even when you're sleeping you're working out what work you need to be doing when you wake up. my brain never sleeps, it's so tiring.

but, this weekend was filled with shopping, lunches, dinners, church, soccer and family (friends). it was a great weekend, and a welcomed rest (although, mum had to force the welcomed part a bit).

thanks to my mother and jerusha for topping it all off as a fantastic weekend.
i always love the time i spend with the twins :)

now.. back to reality.
goodbye lovely weekend, hello year twelve.

to do or not to do

decisions to make.
1. uni
2. uni course
3. whether or not to do grade 8 piano this year
4. to honour God

i hate making decisions.
can someone please make them for me?

waiting on the world to change

I heard them talking of their tomorrow -
beautiful people -
talking of life and love,
of war and death
and changing the world -
circles of conversation
like goldfish in a bowl
going nowhere -
I thought of yesterday
and didn't have the heart to tell them
we were the beautiful people then -
trying to change the world
and our circles of conversation
were like goldfish in a bowl
going nowhere . . . . .

from the Thoughts of Nanushka Volume I
by Nan Witcomb

better days

i've seen better days than these.

this week has dragged on so much it feels like three.
thank goodness it's over.
finally.
and now, let the tsunami of homework hit me.

just a quick little funfact:
God once spoke to me through a secular song - Jason Mraz's Details in the Fabric..
the verse that said:

"Hang on
Help is on the way
Stay strong
I'm doing everything"

spoke to me once when i was really struggling. i remembered that time today. maybe this'll speak to more of you. God is telling you to HANG ON! and he's there, even if sometimes it doesn't feel like it. Just be strong. He's there - behind the scenes.

Apart from that, there's more family drama from malaysia. that will make four trips in one year.

smile though your heart is breaking

ahh.. those carefree days where the sun shone brighter, the smiles on our faces were bigger and anything was possible. i wish i could retreat back to then.

Quirk

It's awesome how everyone has their little quirks. Everyone is unique and has something different to give to the world. I know this sounds to cliche, but seriously, everyone of my friends brings something different to my life.

I was reminded what i loved about my Best friend last night. One thing I had forgotten was her love to quote movies, just like me. I forgot where I got my love of quoting from. It's one of those things that started all those years ago after watching "Uptown Girls" and "Napoleon Dynamite" and our favourite person to quote? Winnie the Pooh.

I love that one of my best friends (who is a guy) is so arty and fashionable and loves shopping more than me. I love that he buys me the best presents ever cos he knows the kind of fashion sense/style I have. I love that sometimes we think he could be gay because of the way he dresses and the things he talks about (but of course he's not).

I love that one of my best friends acts like my big brother. I love how he is this really dignified, righteous, upstanding, cool kinda guy when you first meet him.. until you realise that he actually makes really lame jokes. I love the way he's kinda protective too.

I love that one of my best friends who is older than me is sometimes like my little sister. I love that we can talk about anything, and I love her love of all things vintage and retro. I love how we can completely relate on all things to do with our families because theyre kind of the same. I love the way she cleans her room a billion times over jus so she doesn't have to start her homework!

I love that one of my closest friends grew up in Chille. I love his weird accent.

It's all these things about all these people that I love. Of course, there are many more, but I can't list them all. seriously, my life would be a bore without you guys.

In short, quirkiness doesn't always equal arty-dressed, nerd glasses wearing people. Quirkiness is present in all of us, and I guess it's these little things that we find we miss about each other.

we were so busy with our games, we forgot about the white rabbit

Don't make me fall in love again,
don't let your hand touch mine,
don't make that old familiar thrill
start tingling in my spine -
Don't make the nights rush by again
and all the days seem long -
don't fill my earth and sky again -
let one of us be strong.
Don't make me talk about you,
just to say your name aloud
or let my eyes betray me
when I see you in a crowd -
Don't make me fall in love again,
please let my heart decide
that this is just another game,
a roller coaster ride -
but who knows where a love begins
or how a game might end -
and maybe somewhere in between
I'll fall in love again . . . .

by Nan Witcomb,
from "The Thoughts of Nanushka"
Volume I, "Yesterday, Today and Tomorrow"

when she loved me

what do you say to someone who has stopped being in your life for a whole year after being there for you for four?

wisdom please God?
wisdom would be nice.

i would really really like to not screw this up. thanks.

Love one Another

i am continually amazed at how some bloggers (such as my cousin aaron) have so much time to blog so often. furthermore, how they manage to have so many epiphanies in their day to write about. like seriously, my life is not that interesting! anyhow, shout out to his blog, check it out :)
here. i promise no good morals and endless hours of procrastination as you browse through his amusing and very malaysian blog.

i just got home from church camp. this is my first avenue of processing so far. aside from all the fun things i got to do, such as slide down the 110 metre long water slide, canoeing and take a ride on the 130metre long flying fox, as well as trampolining and hanging out with the coolest kids in town (literal children).. i really felt God pulling me back to him.

it's a huge challenge to christians everywhere on how to live as a christian and be noticed for it. this camp taught us that by loving each other, we ensure that we are viewed as Jesus' disciples. i know one of the greatest things God challenged me on was the power of encouragement. so many times i forget to encourage others. also, i need to begin to defend others and not tear them down. loving one another goes beyond feeling, it is a commitment on our part, and a command that God has called us to obey. i know God truly placed certain people on my heart that i need to pray for, to love more, to respect more, to treat with more patience and gentleness.. the list is endless. oh i am so flawed.

though i wasn't in the adult sessions (i was helping out with sunday school), i really saw - through devotions and general conversations - that God is my Father, and i am a child of God. i am not an orphan, i belong somewhere. i do not need to seek aproval in anybody or in anything. by learning who i am in christ Jesus, and by abiding in Him, i assure a confidence and a faith in him that goes beyond any shallow acceptance this world can offer me.

"Love one another and you will be happy. It's as simple and as difficult as that." - Michael Leuning

I know it can be hard to love some people, but through the grace of God, we can learn to see them through God's eyes. men, no matter how good or bad (and by the way, who are we to judge?), no matter how perfect or flawed are all made in God's image.

"So now i am giving you a new commandment: Love each other. Just as I have loved you, you should love each other. Your love for one another will prove to the world that you are my disciples." - John 13:34-35

so, i now have some praying to do.

stop right now, thank you very much.

it always sounds so petty when teenage girls complain they are fat, or dumb, or ugly or unfortunate. it always sounds so unbelievable when beautiful, smart people say they aren't good enough. it's like "we know you are so amazingly good looking, and we know you ace your studies even though you don't study, stop rubbing it in and making the rest of us feel even more inferior!" it's so easy to dimiss other people's comments about themselves, but when you begin to criticise yourself - your own looks, your own intelligence, your own capabilities, your own talents, your own body.. it's something entirely else. suddenly, you start believing you are fat or stupid or ugly or untalented or unfortunate, and that the rest of the world are all so much better off than you.. especially that amazingly tall, skinny, blonde haired, genius (ha ironic isnt it?). and now you begin to stop believing when people tell you you are actually beautiful or smart or fortunate.

so heres the simple remedy...
stop focusing on yourself.
stop thinking about your insecurities
stop focusing on your hair,teeth,nails,eyes,skintone,boobs,legs,arms...
stop defining yourself by what you received on that last SAC
stop thinking you aren't good enough.

and start helping others. switch the focus to other people. start complimenting that tall, skinny, blonde haired, genius girl you hate so much, start performing random acts of kindness for others.

and then you realised, it doesnt have to be about you, in fact, it never was about you.

now Danica, take your OWN advice.

and miles to go before i sleep

what a week.

my brain, body, soul are all drained. super drained.

i am out of emotions, i am out of smartness and out of tears..

thank God for that.

one thing i know for sure,

i'm not out of smiles.

good thing too.. i think i have to be happy tomorrow.

also,

i got all my wishes granted,

so how can i not be happy?

i got my perfume, my portrait lens and my birthday with family.

God is good...

...all the time.

Yee Yook Son

my grandfather passed away this morning at 7am malaysian time. he is now with his saviour jesus. he has passed from glory to glory.

John Piper and the Prosperity Gospel

all i want

hi everybody,
here is all i want for my birthday which is OVER.

1. Nikon 35mm f/1.8G AF-S DX Lens for Nikon Digital SLR Cameras
(for those of you who are camera illiterate, that's just a fixed portrait lens)
thanks elroi for giving me a loverrrly 50mm f1.8 lens.you are now officially my favourite cousin.


2. a gift voucher for chaddy
(thankyou to the fungusus for the $100 gift voucher last year. it has been amazing)

3. a year's subscription to frankie magazine


thank you.

Hold Me Now

God is sovereign.
He has everything under control even when the world feels like it's slipping away underneath me.

God is a tower of strength and shelter.
He can be strong when I have no strength left.

God is the prince of peace.
When I feel unsecure or unsafe, he comforts me with his love.

God is my best friend.
And he knew exactly what to tell me after leaving the hospital for the last time.

Hold Me Now - Hillsong

On that day when I see
All that you have for me
When I see you face to face
There surrounded by your grace

All my fear is swept away
in the light of your embrace
where you love is all I need
and forever Iam free

Where the streets are made of gold
In your presence healed and whole
Let the songs of heaven rise to you alone

No weeping, no hurt or pain
No suffering
you hold me now, you hold me now
No darkness, no sick or lame
No hiding
you hold me now, you hold me now.

Crazy Cousins

since i last blogged, i have done a lot.

i spent thursday in the hospital with my dad, hau yang & kuku lili. i did lots of homework that day!

thursday to friday night i went for youth aflame's youth camp (just one night of it), and they stayed over at church. it was so much fun to catch up with all my childhood friends and cousins and meet new people. we played games, listened to preaching and played more games. ps. julia's team from Glad Tidings in PJ came to speak to us. the theme of the camp was 'touching lives' and ps. suwita mentioned that for us to touch lives we must first change our hearts. it was a great camp.

on friday we went to see my mum's dad - my ah kung, and visited my kung kung again. then, we took my mum's mum - my ah mah home from the hospital after her dialisis.

saturday we went shopping at sungei wang. i got my $7.50 burberry watch. i am now loving the UK shop - topshop, in pavillion, but it's super expensive! sat night was family reunion. it was so good to see family again.

sunday we took my ah kung & shannen & tyron to church - that was a miracle in itself! dad preached at my home church here - canaan sejatra. it was good to catch up with old family friends again. we went out for lunch (of course) to teck wah (of course) with the board (of course). we then went to visit the seows and my grandpa. we went to 'fatty crab' for dinner with the longs and the wongs. we also visited a pasar malam (night market) and i bought jay chou and david tao :)

monday i got a haircut :O lol. and then went to midvalley with mummy and elysia and then met hau yang and david to watch valentines day and eat ipoh chicken rice. then, with hau yang driving like a maniac, we drove to shah alam for dinner with the family.

tuesday was more hospitals and shopping. we had dinner with the tans at casa mila. and then, supper of curry mean at sri sina

wednesday we left at 2.45 pm after an early dim sum breaky with uncle tham song. we then drove to the hospital to see my kung kung. to our suprise, he had decided (after being very adamant against it) to accept jesus into his life. my dad reminded him time and time again that doing it for his kids will be meaningless, and he understood this. he accepted jesus and dad baptised him with sprinkling. it was one of the most amazing moments in my life, and i will remember it forever. we then said our final goodbyes.

we hopped on the plane and got home this morning at 3.30AM.

will blog later on deeper issues.

a grandparent's love

over the last few days, many of you will know i have been in malaysia. it was a rocky start at 3AM on tuesday morning, and we landed at 9.30 local time. the whole first day was a blur.

we have been spending everyday mostly between hospitals. my kung kung (dad's dad) is at selayang hospital and my ah mah (mum's mum) is at the university hospital. it hasn't exactly been a pleasant visit, but i have noticed and learnt many things already.

it's so amazing to have family around. my kung kung's room has been full everyday since we got here. he has to have 24hour care from family members just in case anything happens and we need to alert staff. we have been rotating to look after him. he's very rollercoaster. he's up then he's down again. we have had some great moments joking with him, and talking to him. yesterday in particular, he just got a haircut, and it was the most expensive haircut he'd ever had. he was frustrated because the hairdresser had used scissors instead of clippers and couldn't cut his hair properly. we all proceeded to share stories we knew of the most expensive haircut. aunty phik yee said her friend got a $1,500 haircut!

it's so sad to see my two grandparents who were once so healthy, so strong and so wise looking so frail and fragile. they remind me of children who need people to help them. my kung kung has been frustrated as he cannot do simple things like going to the toilet by himself and sitting up by himself anymore. the other day he managed to go to the toilet, he was so happy.

it's hard as i want to communicate with them, but my chinese is so bad! and even though my ah mah can speak english, i don't ever know what to say.

it's been good to see some of my cousins again. yesterday was like 'bring-your-girlfriend-to-see-kung-kung-day' at the hospital! it was great to meet everyone.

my cousin ian yee who works for the youth section "RAGE" of the STAR paper here in Malaysia wrote an article about my kung kung which was published in the star yesterday. it reduced us all to tears.

so, i will leave you all with the link to this article. please check it out!

http://blog.rage.com.my/a-grandfathers-love

please keep the prayers coming!

RUN RUN RUN

and I can't stop until I'm done,
no i can't stop until i'm done.

history maker

"when i grow up, i want to be an artist"

what happened to those days where it didn't matter how much money you earned or the job availability or what uni you could get into or what enter score you needed to get into a course? what happened to our childhood dreams?

i'll tell you what..
they got crushed by our peers, our teachers, our parents, VCAA, universities and the industry.

why is it so hard to pick one career to stick to?

research shows that most Gen Y's will change jobs every two years and change careers every five years. clearly we all have ants in our pants, or we're just not happy.

last first day ever

today i thought i was going to realise i was doomed to social death for the next nine months. instead, i find out it's more going to be a powerful but steady waterfall for the next nine months. that i can deal with. then i missed the memo that my day wasn't going to turn out at all what i thought i could deal with. then it hit me.. social death is real, and without dying this death, i cannot proceed to ace my studies. VCAA, you suck.

"for i know the plans i have for you"

it's going to be an exciting year.. i can feel it.
some very exciting happenings in the planning.
bring on 2010!

love is hard

you don't need to be so insecure. you really don't. because i think you're beautiful. i think there is some guy out there worth waiting for, who'll love the very things about you that you hate. why do you need to waste your time looking for more losers? why should you entrust your heart to somebody who is just going to break it? you are better than this.

the decisive moment

"Place de l'Europe" by Henri Cartier-Bresson.

"photography is not like painting. there is a creative fraction of a second when you are taking a picture. your eye must see a composition of an expression that life itself offers you, and you must know with intuition when to click the camera. that is the moment the photographer is creative. "oop! the moment!" once you miss it, it is gone forever"

- henri cartier-bresson

and judging by that photo, cartier-bresson certainly caught the moment.

tomorrow

"the sun'll come out, tomorrow" - annie

i love annie the musical. it's such a feel-good classic! orphan gets adopted by billionaire.. it's a dream come true!

tomorrow is the day my dad gets home, YAY! we all miss him very much. tomorrow is when things are escalating until they get back to normal - whatever normal is. tomorrow is the first day of my freedom from holiday homework.

this year leaves much to fear, much to question, much to learn, much to see, much to experience, and tomorrow is another part of this year.

i'm scared and excited all at the same time.. year twelve awaits.

These holidays...

...my nails have been four different colours
...i re-discovered my love for good design
...i read more magazines that i have in my lifetime
...i finished gilmore girls
...i have seen two movies at the cinemas
...i have not taken too many photographs
...the builders have been hard at work at my house
...i have seen my darling adrienne four times
...i have lived in different bedrooms for a month
...i have fallen in love with Chopin waltzes
...i have embroided a tshirt
...i have not touched my guitar
...i have practiced piano at least four times a week
...i have been procrastinating starting my vcd unit 3 folio just in case i stuff up
...i have talked more to my cousins away from KL than i normally would
...my grandfather gave his heart to Jesus
...i went to the beach twice
...i have felt happier than the whole of last year combined
...i have taken a break from being on the emotional rollercoaster
...i have taken to hanging out with people i never expected
...i have been looking for orange jewelery, but to no avail
...i went to the conservatory in crown for all-you-can-eat
...we went on a week long bludge trip which turned out to be exactly what we needed
...i have been hiding my fear of this coming year
...i have been savouring every moment
...i have taken to exercising :) not that i like it
...the song most stuck in my head was "Let's Dance To Joy Division" by the Wombats
...i decided to start a list of 'things to do after year 12'

...turned out quite different to what i expected. it's still not too late, two weeks of it left! then, then, my life ENDS!